Moving Out

“You have to leave”, he says.
“Who the fuck are you?? “ I retort.
“Not important”, he says. I was here just to pass on an order he quips.
“Order?and who gave this order? The LANDLORD??”.
“Don’t ask, don’t tell, we work on this philosophy. And you know this philosophy too don’t you??"
No, I don’t and I aint going anywhere, this is where I am from and this is where I will live forever, I say.
"Ya ,you will", he says sarcastically. Start packing you have only 10 days to pack.
“This isn’t fair”, trying to think as rationally as I could, but it’s a moot point when the other guy points a gun to your forehead. “
“Trembling with fear, I try to call on the people I know, people I love”. "I wonder why no one comes out to help me. Do they also not want me to live with them"?? A chilling thought races cross my mind!
As I try to fight it out with this guy,
“Out”, I hear a voice and this voice is hypnotic. In the hypnotized state, I say “OK”
The other guy laughs at me, “ I will kick your ass” I murmur.
The voice, comes again “No you wont, and for that matter you cant”
Slowly I identify this voice, it is the LANDLORD, knowing how well he had treated me so far, I say, “we had an agreement, didn’t we?? Yes, we did have one! But just remember, You were only a tenant, and you live in a world where “Might has always been and will always be right”
“What if I refuse to leave??”
“Oh! We have other ways to do it too. But I am sure you will co-operate”.
See you around and then there is an absolute silence!!!
“Hurriedly, I begin to pack my stuff!” Out of FEAR than out of RESPECT
Then since I cannot move my stuff out all at once, I begin to make small trips out (causes havoc in some other things). In one of those trips the LANDLORD warns, “ Don’t pack anything, that belongs to the house. It will cause bigger problems to you, problems which you cannot imagine right now, and make sure you leave the house clean,"Sauber machen", as a German landlord tells you normally”
“OK”, I say (still hypnotized). On my way back from these trips, I try to think of someway offering a middle path to the LANDLORD, something by which I don’t have to move out. Its crazy to move out suddenly when you have lived there all along. Its like you belong there.
But the LANDLORD remains adamant, “OUT” he keeps repeating.
Knowing, there is no way out, I accelerate my packing after all its only 4 days remaining to the deadline.
This causes intense misery to people and things around me.
Some strange things however begin to happen! As more and more of my stuff is moved out, I start feeling less and less attached to the place, to the surroundings to the environment. I seemed to have accepted the fact that I am moving out, and there is no way to back off now!
Finally it’s the day I have to move out. The LANDLORDS’ agents come to visit me in the morning, just as I am having coffee, I offer some to them but they refuse. "OK", I say, as the last few drops of my coffee, enter my mouth. They give another warning, “Tonight before you leave, you have to clean the house. HE does not like tenants to leave behind their home dirty. The older amongst the agent seems quite friendly to me and gives me advice, start closing down the apparatus you are not using/ going to use before you move out! It will save you the trouble of chaos before you move out! “OK, Thanks for the advice I say”. The old man quips, “Moving out is hard, perhaps harder than moving in , we have all been there, this guy here seems so pissed off because he could not even move in properly.”
Just then its time for lunch, I do not know what stuff I have remaining in the house, but I refuse to have lunch! Perhaps its because I am afraid that I might have leftovers and since I already have shut off the garbage disposal, it might be a bitch to get rid off. And the option of throwing out is not an option really because it will leave something’s for others to clean. So no lunch.
Anyways its time for me to move out now!
P.S. I WAS HIS SOUL, AND HE IS DEAD!!!!!

Sleeping on your 1st date!

Its an age old fact that you never sleep on your 1st date. Since i do not get many 1st dates anyway i have never really been put able to question the logic behind this notion of not sleeping on your 1st date.. But one fine day i got my chance to do it and like a true male specie i grabbed it with both hands ;-)
A very good friend of mine decided to set me up with some doctor friend of hers and since i respect doctors anyway i said "Sounds good". So she exchanged our numbers.. i must admit from the voice on the phone she did seem quite OK.. There have been times when i get turned off by gals voices too.. It is strange.. i know that.. but I am weird! Plus my friend said that this doctor lady could talk a lot and also likes to listen (though the 2nd part will hardly ever be used, it is good to know :-)) and i felt like this was an answer to all my prayers in one gal.. Normally answers come in packages.. So i called her up and we agreed to meet in the afternoon around 3. She had a clinic to go to in the evening.. I agreed..
My mom wished me luck hoping at least now i will grow up in regards to my personal life.
So sharp at 3 i was at the coffee house i was supposed to meet her. After the introductory greetings we went into the coffee house. Well she looked quite good i must admit.. And well since i knew the college she studied at (its a place where u cant slip in a few hundred thousands to get an admit.. U have to be really smart) i felt gr8.. maybe this could be interesting.
So the waiter came up to take the order.. I remembered all the things u see in movies and elsewhere of not calling a waiter "BOSS", "psuicck- psuicck (a whistling sound very commonly used in India" etc and stuck to "excuse me".. i will admit that i generally always use "Excuse me" so it wasnt very difficult but i still bore it in mind.. OK this was something new.. i was trying to impress her :-)..
Well she noticed my BB and said "Ohh! cool phone". There was a thing in me which wanted to say "it is very common nowadays".. i seriously decided to ditch it.. this i must admit was far from easy :-).
Then i said something which made her begin to talk (normally it is good.. but for someone like me..).. I said, "I respect doctors a lot.. the trust which people put into you guys.. Its not for nothing that Doctors are compared to GOD".. Off course this was a line for impressing her.. But she took it to heart.. From then on i learnt most things abt her 1st year courses, labs and stuff.. She just kept going on.. after about 30 mins i decided time for another coffee.. (this was more due to a certain realization as there seemed no hope of the conversation ending soon). So this time i ordered a cappuccino.. Machiato wasnt going to solve the problem here.. :-(
Slowly as we travelled through her 3rd year.. i realised, "Holy mother of God!The jet lag had now decided to kick in".. i hadnt taken this into account.( i had been on a tour from Tokyo-Chicago- India in the last 10 days). As she kept talking abt her PG plans etc etc I Dozzed OFF! She didnt realise it since i was an expert in sleeping when someone is talking to you.. i developed and mastered the habit all through college.. Bad time for revision i felt :-). Finally the spoon lying next to my cup fell and i woke up.. it was then that she realised that i had been sleeping all along..
Obviously bewildered she asked, " Were you..?" Ashamed i said "Yes"... it was pretty clear that i was from the eyes but i think she was doing a CT (confirmatory test! See i picked up some med school jargon.. i wasnt sleeping all along :-).
Without wasting anymore time she left.. And completely screwed up at that time as i was.. I needed another cappuccino to get up and drive home..
And on my way back i realised this is perhaps why they say, never sleep on your 1st date! It can ruin good things that could happen!
Next morning i ventured enough courage to call her and apologize.. and that i did not mean to be disrespectful which i really did not.. She had just one question," How could you?".. Seeming out of answers I said " It was 6am in Chicago!".. She banged the phone down!

Tu me manques

Completely spent after making love she slept with her head on my bare chest. As I was strolling my hand through her moist hair.. my thoughts went back to the weeks before this had happened (the gravity of the situation was I think still lost in the feeling of ecstasy). It only seemed a few weeks ago..
As the thoughts kept flowing I realized I hadn’t slept even for a while. As the first rays of the sun came into the room. i just put her head away gently and as I got dressed my stomach cried for coffee.. I made some coffee and i sipped on my coffee I realized today was going to be an awkward if not a difficult day.
I wrote a small note saying “in the lobby”. Common I didn’t want to be there when she woke up.. it was ungentlemanly.. Though emotions got better of us last night I wasn’t sure how she would react.
As I waited for her in the hotel lobby.. there she walked in completely resplendent in the blue salwar kameez.. Angelic was the only word I could think of.
Me: Good morning..
She: Morning..
Me: Lets go for breakfast
She: I am not really hungry..
There was a definite awkwardness..
She: Last night was different..
“Wonderful” was what I wanted to say.. “Yes” is what I said.. I switched of my BlackBerry (an uncalled for joke with a hope to lighten the tension)
But atleast she wanted to talk about it.. that meant I had the chance to tell her what I felt.. what I wanted. If it would have been a thing which was best forgotten after last night.. I would have been in serious trouble yet again (You never make the same mistake twice, but that’s your brain thinking not your heart). And I will not call it a one night stand because it wasnt..
Me: So lets go to the open air café.. I am hungry
She: Ok..
Me: As I settled with my coffee and croissant, I noticed she was busy texting..
Wanted to check how ‘sonu’ is, she said..
“Ok”. I said.
Just as I was sipping coffee and we were going to have a chat about last night did she receive a phone call.. She walked away presumably for some privacy.. I was munching on my croissant and drinking the café latte.. I found her walking further away. Out of genuine concern rather than invading of her privacy I walked towards her.. I stopped a sufficient distance away from her so that I could see her but not listen to what the conversation was.. I did not wish to interfere.. but just then I heard her yell much to the astonishment of me and a few others who were in the garden café where she unknowingly had strolled. Then I genuinely walked closer to her.. She was talking to her ex-husband.. And I could guess what the discussion was about.. Involuntarily I held her hand.. I think emotions again got the better of me.. She put the phone down angrily, looked at me.. I was still holding her hand.. Our eyes met and then there was not a word spoken.. all that was to be told, heard, discussed about last night happened without words.. Its strange how much we underestimate the power of silence..
“Let us go for a walk”, she said.. And just as we began to go out of the garden café my BB reminded me of a telecon..
“I have a telecon”, I told her.. It shouldn’t be more than half an hour.. Then we could go.. Emotions are ok but I had to remember my commitments to my office too..
“Ok”, she said.. “I can understand”. That’s what I liked about her she had demands but she was always understanding.. She had always been this way even when were the best of friends and this was really what had made me make the transition, want to take the bridge across forever..
So the telecon lasted for an hour more than it should have but it’s usually the case. I had forgotten to tell her that.. There was just too much on my mind both professionally and personally. She was waiting in her room.. I went to her room and said “chal, lets go..” We began strolling, occasionally holding hands, sometimes going further apart, sometimes the fingers just brushed. It was not that we were behaving as teenagers trying to be cheeky behind the eyes of the world but there was just some uncertainty. True we had shared a lot more than words and fluids yesterday but we hadn’t been in touch with each other for 7 years before we met at the airport. The chat we had weren’t sweet nothings nor were they talks about the problems we had been through, not about the future, I think more than the words the companionship was paramount at that time. This made me realize how much there was to share. This was what had attracted me to her that I could talk to her (considerable achievement! People who know me would agree!! ) It wasn’t just her beauty that made her special; it was the dignity with which she carried herself was what had floored me!
After the walk we came back to the hotel had dinner and it was time to leave (live). A couple of hours of driving and we were at her gate.
“Thank you”, she said..
“?”, complete question mark on the face
“For everything in the last two days.” She said..
“Meant a lot to me too”, I said..
“Good night, c u soon”.. She said
“Ok” and just as she was about to close the door something within me said, “Tu me manques”