Tu me manques

Completely spent after making love she slept with her head on my bare chest. As I was strolling my hand through her moist hair.. my thoughts went back to the weeks before this had happened (the gravity of the situation was I think still lost in the feeling of ecstasy). It only seemed a few weeks ago..
As the thoughts kept flowing I realized I hadn’t slept even for a while. As the first rays of the sun came into the room. i just put her head away gently and as I got dressed my stomach cried for coffee.. I made some coffee and i sipped on my coffee I realized today was going to be an awkward if not a difficult day.
I wrote a small note saying “in the lobby”. Common I didn’t want to be there when she woke up.. it was ungentlemanly.. Though emotions got better of us last night I wasn’t sure how she would react.
As I waited for her in the hotel lobby.. there she walked in completely resplendent in the blue salwar kameez.. Angelic was the only word I could think of.
Me: Good morning..
She: Morning..
Me: Lets go for breakfast
She: I am not really hungry..
There was a definite awkwardness..
She: Last night was different..
“Wonderful” was what I wanted to say.. “Yes” is what I said.. I switched of my BlackBerry (an uncalled for joke with a hope to lighten the tension)
But atleast she wanted to talk about it.. that meant I had the chance to tell her what I felt.. what I wanted. If it would have been a thing which was best forgotten after last night.. I would have been in serious trouble yet again (You never make the same mistake twice, but that’s your brain thinking not your heart). And I will not call it a one night stand because it wasnt..
Me: So lets go to the open air café.. I am hungry
She: Ok..
Me: As I settled with my coffee and croissant, I noticed she was busy texting..
Wanted to check how ‘sonu’ is, she said..
“Ok”. I said.
Just as I was sipping coffee and we were going to have a chat about last night did she receive a phone call.. She walked away presumably for some privacy.. I was munching on my croissant and drinking the café latte.. I found her walking further away. Out of genuine concern rather than invading of her privacy I walked towards her.. I stopped a sufficient distance away from her so that I could see her but not listen to what the conversation was.. I did not wish to interfere.. but just then I heard her yell much to the astonishment of me and a few others who were in the garden café where she unknowingly had strolled. Then I genuinely walked closer to her.. She was talking to her ex-husband.. And I could guess what the discussion was about.. Involuntarily I held her hand.. I think emotions again got the better of me.. She put the phone down angrily, looked at me.. I was still holding her hand.. Our eyes met and then there was not a word spoken.. all that was to be told, heard, discussed about last night happened without words.. Its strange how much we underestimate the power of silence..
“Let us go for a walk”, she said.. And just as we began to go out of the garden café my BB reminded me of a telecon..
“I have a telecon”, I told her.. It shouldn’t be more than half an hour.. Then we could go.. Emotions are ok but I had to remember my commitments to my office too..
“Ok”, she said.. “I can understand”. That’s what I liked about her she had demands but she was always understanding.. She had always been this way even when were the best of friends and this was really what had made me make the transition, want to take the bridge across forever..
So the telecon lasted for an hour more than it should have but it’s usually the case. I had forgotten to tell her that.. There was just too much on my mind both professionally and personally. She was waiting in her room.. I went to her room and said “chal, lets go..” We began strolling, occasionally holding hands, sometimes going further apart, sometimes the fingers just brushed. It was not that we were behaving as teenagers trying to be cheeky behind the eyes of the world but there was just some uncertainty. True we had shared a lot more than words and fluids yesterday but we hadn’t been in touch with each other for 7 years before we met at the airport. The chat we had weren’t sweet nothings nor were they talks about the problems we had been through, not about the future, I think more than the words the companionship was paramount at that time. This made me realize how much there was to share. This was what had attracted me to her that I could talk to her (considerable achievement! People who know me would agree!! ) It wasn’t just her beauty that made her special; it was the dignity with which she carried herself was what had floored me!
After the walk we came back to the hotel had dinner and it was time to leave (live). A couple of hours of driving and we were at her gate.
“Thank you”, she said..
“?”, complete question mark on the face
“For everything in the last two days.” She said..
“Meant a lot to me too”, I said..
“Good night, c u soon”.. She said
“Ok” and just as she was about to close the door something within me said, “Tu me manques”